Presenting a football opinion to end all football opinion pieces… Or very least make you question the next one you read.
When I’m watchin’ my tv and a man comes on and tell me
How white my shirts can be,
But, he can’t be a man ’cause he doesn’t smoke,
The same cigarettes as me.– Rolling Stones, 1965.
Stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, arrhythmias. That’s not all! Order now, and we’ll throw in receding hairline and a Bart Simpson doll to choke, to go with your subscription to A Day in the Life of a Football Fan.
With an affliction as harmful and divisive as your choice of cigarettes, Marlboro or Manchester United, doesn’t matter which brand you indulge in, you cough up in the end. Whether it’s time, money, health – you’re invested. At least with cigarettes, those frauds over at Academy of Tobacco studies had the decency to come up with patches for you cope. You don’t simply quit your football club. This opiate is a type of a religion for the masses. There’s an economy thriving on your sense of entitlement, brand loyalty and validation. That jersey you bought probably fed a family of ten in Thailand their Christmas dinner. Well, done you.
Cary Grant and Carole Lombard are lighting up, Bette Davis, a chimney, and Bogart, remember the first picture with him and Lauren Bacall? […] She sort of shimmies in through the doorway. Nineteen years old. Pure sex. She says “Anyone got a match?” and Bogie throws the matches at her… and she catches them. Greatest romance in the century, how did it start? Lighting a cigarette. In these days, when someone smokes in the movies, they’re either a psychopath… or an European. The message that Hollywood needs to send out is “Smoking is Cool!”.
– Nick Naylor, Thank You For Smoking.