No, this article is not derogatory. Yes the title is to grab your attention. No, you may not irritate us about it. Rather, think of this as a transfer preview/review/fan view and stop judging me for liking top-heavy things (women, Football Clubs, women… you get the gist).
Football is a game of balance, starting with the goalkeeper and back-line, the ball is to be moved around and put in the back of the opposite teams’ net. Few teams do this better than Barcelona (yes, I can hear 0-7 jokes already. No, I do not care.) – and you have to admit it. In my mind, in the past five years on their day, no one can move the ball on a football field like Barça can. Starting with the goalkeeper, (that infuriating b****rd known as Valdes) to the back four (Three? Maybe two?) to the midfield quarter with the lung-busting otherworldly runs of the two-wing backs and the forward three, Barça camp in the opposition half. Admit it. Out of ninety minutes, at least fifty are spent by other teams watching Barca pass and move in a metronomic mind-numbing fashion.
Even Casillas once said ‘Their passing is hypnotic, rhythmic, very easy to be drawn into a silly foul, into a shove, a moment of slipping up and they’re in behind you, a slight lapse, and they have the ball in the back of the net’
Yes, well said San Iker, cheers to you on your brilliant tactical analysis from the Bernabeu dugout as Diego Lopez puts in another brilliant shift between the posts for Madrid. But enough mocking, enough of praise. For all of Barcelona’s pass-and-move and their fluidity, there is a certain irritant – the back-line. The ‘No one is in our half, let me leave Mascherano and Pique behind’ attitude of the full-backs infuriates me. This is another reason I am frustrated by Barcelona not holding onto Abidal. With half a liver and maybe with one leg, he’s better at tracking back and covering than Alves or Mascherano are – sometimes both put together. Let’s admit it, Barca are brilliant, mesmeric when going forward but tracking back their centre-halves lack the balls to commit, knowing if they do, they have Valdes (infuriating baldie) between the posts and he isn’t the most confidence-inspiring goalkeeper, especially since his contract fiasco.