Brazilian bravado shrouded in German efficacy; for opponents, Liverpool’s Bob Firmino is player that hangs on to the fringes of the frame of your television.
It starts off like any other alien-themed movie from the 70s. It comes in peace and with manners disarming. The fact that it made it this far from his homeworld, alone warrants a standoffish sort of respect. But there is something about this advanced race of antennaed humanoid that you can’t put a finger on it. So, you present yourself as ideal hosts for your seemingly ideal guest, mostly to indulge your curiosity. And then it happens – BOOM, PEW, PEW, ZAP, AAAARGH! The antennaed attack drone has pinpointed the chink in the armour of your defences; the intergalactic flare is set off. The drone sends for his cavalry, and the invasion will ensue.
Sounds familiar?
The Raumdeuter (German for Space Investigator), is one of the most unquantifiable player in the modern game (made famous among English-speaking hipster like myself, by the Guardian’s inimitable Barney Ronay in 2013). So much so, that there has been only one in recent memory – Germany’s Thomas Mueller. The 27-year-old is one of the hardest players to mark in world football, despite having no apparent calling card in terms of technique, or power. Looking relatively uninterested, and unassuming, loitering all over the pitch, almost in a leisurely stupor, and then out of nowhere, he teleports himself into the box, and gets himself at the end of another cross to head home, or deal another side-foot finish into the bottom corner from 10 yards.