Let’s address the camel in the room.
If the defeat to Wolfsburg was the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back”, the subsequent losses to Bournemouth and Norwich made fans, journalists and experts alike, wanting to put the much-trodden manager out of his misery . There had been murmurs of discontent for many weeks now, but fans were consoled by clean sheets David De Gea earned for the side. “At least LVG sorted things out at the back”, was the common refrain. But the competent defensive work counted for nothing, as United failed miserably in completing the “European away job” – a thrilling defeat at Wolfsburg. All the more ironic was that in every game until that point, including those against championship opposition at home (in the league cup), United played a cautious brand of football, unsuccessfully. But in the one must-win match at the Volkswagen arena, where United were better served in playing vigilantly, the team went out all guns blazing, midfield as open as a meadow in Switzerland. The champions league exit comes as no surprise to anyone.
And that is Aloysius Van Gaal in a nutshell. Just as one discovers a method to his madness (more on this later), the Dutchman thwarts him/her with even more bizarre tactics and substitutions. In the crucial Wolfsburg game, Nick Powell, who featured thrice all of last season on loan at Leicester, and zero times this season, bafflingly came on for Juan Mata, who had grabbed an assist earlier in the game. Last season, Angel Di Maria, who was more expensive than India’s mission to Mars (an example for perspective’s sake, and a testament to how football insults intelligence), was benched to the point of frustration, in favour of Ashley Young, who was rewarded for his performances with a 3 year contract. But this season, the bench at Old Trafford probably has a permanent impression of Young’s ample bottom, even though he has been one of our better performers when called upon. Plan A seems to be “pass the ball until the opposition gets bored”, while Plan B seems to be “lump the ball towards Fellaini’s afro, until it sticks”. There is no middle ground. United signed Victor Valdes from the footballing wilderness, only to banish him from the training ground a few months later. The sheer contradictions in LVG’s much vaunted philosophy are difficult to explain (we attempt an explanation later).