Leading psychologists from Siggy Freud downwards have concluded that we humans are judgmental as a rule. There are few things that we can view dispassionately. If we take these as inviolable premises, we are lead to the inevitable conclusion that there exist no ‘neutral’ football fans. A degree of partisanship is not merely ubiquitous, it is also indispensible if one is to enjoy the beautiful game.

‘Reason is,’ declared David Hume, ‘and ought only to be the slave of the passions.’ There is no reason for us to watch a football match if we are not passionate about it, if we are ‘neutral’ in the truest sense of that word. As it is, most teams give us plenty of reason to support or deride them despite the fact that we follow one team for the entire season.