The Premier League Prediction Five

Karn Rateria

30th July 2015 | 5:19 PM

The Sky Sports TV advert for the Premier League’s 2015-16 season saw Thierry Henry relive some magical moments of the “best league in the world”. But the fleet-footed-ball-handling-striker looked at the past rather than the future. But fortune favours the brave, they say, and my spinach rich lunch two days back makes me feel like I owe it to my childhood sailor hero to be brave. So summoning my inner Paul the Octopus, here are my predictions for the English Premier League next season.

1. Mourinho will drive a Ferrari

Premier League club Chelsea's Jose Mourinho winking
Premier League will soon see Mourinho in a Ferrari

Picture yourself dominating the Premier League and winning the title. They call your football boring but you’ve put on some shades and a “Haters gonna hate” t-shirt, while Ramires, Cahill and Terry are showering you with champagne. Then you have the epiphany of epiphanies – I must trade my bus for a Ferrari.

An epiphany is the only possible explanation I have for Mourinho’s new claim summed up in this headline – “Jose Mourinho says Chelsea’s rivals are trying to buy the title”. Now, to be fair, he did say that’s what he did earlier. But this case of Delph-itis, taking a u-turn on all that he has said and done so far, prompts me to believe that Mourinho will take a sledgehammer to the bus and switch to a Ferrari. He will turn Ivanovic into the world’s best striker and fight off Wenger’s claims of how “defence is the best form of attack” in modern football with an entertaining 10-8 encounter at Stamford Bridge.

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