Vinnie Jones, the Portrait of an Antagonist: A Brief History of English Football’s Anxiety – Part 4

Srijandeep Das

31st October 2017 | 3:46 AM

This is a series on the history of English Football’s Anxieties.
Here’s part 1 – Masturbation and muscular Christianity2, part 2 – It’s Bad Manners Being Clever!, part 3 – Magician, Stakhanovite, Stanley Matthews.

The BS-372 was a pre-war socket. It was made in England by General Electrical Company from the 1930s to 1950s, a proud British standard for 2-pin non-earthed plugs and sockets.

When you look at an old BS-372 power socket, it looks back at you. This particular one has a look of unmistakable dejection, as it hangs sideways, wires sticking out its back as it tries its best to avert your gaze. The screws came off somewhere between the time Vinnie learnt how to walk in the old Watford home and the time he didn’t get to learn about electrical conduction at Dollis Junior School (on account of him being pulled out to concentrate on his game). It was from Sir Derek Heasman OBE, his headmaster, that he learned the importance of being grounded.

You are sharing that sidelong gaze with young Vinnie Jones. Not infrequently, Vinnie was tempted to stick a fork in it, flip the switch on and not let go, just to see what happens.

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